“We are Family” is a tune that stays in your head. Remember Sister Sledge singing lyrics like “I got all my sisters with me...We’re giving love in a family dose…Have faith in you and the things you do…”?
I love those messages.
The song was co-written by legendary songwriter and producer Nile Rodgers, a friend of mine. Nile wrote huge hits of the disco scene, like "Le Freak" and "Everybody Dance," and also produced the likes of David Bowie, Duran Duran, INKS, Diana Ross, the B-52s and Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” album.
Then after 9/11, he started the “We are Family Foundation” (WAFF), (www.wearefamilyfoundation.org), a nonprofit organzition, inspired to promote a global family, and now supporting educational projects in 20 countries. After 9/11, the master musician organized re-recording the hit song with over 200 musicians, celebrities and personalities, which was then made into a music video, documentary and version with children’s TV characters.
WAFF had their big fund-raiser Tuesday night with awards and performances by a bevy of stars.
I was delighted to see B52’s Kate Pierson, with her gorgeous flaming red hair and clear blue eyes. It was especially moving because just the day before I had met an adorable little girl with red hair and freckles (in Sam’s Club), whom my mom and I had told she was beautiful. Sadly, her dad shared with me she is constantly picked on – bullied – by other girls in school, pointing out her freckles and red hair and calling her ugly.
I was so upset. “What do you do to help her,” I asked the dad?
“We do the “and” and ‘so’ technique,” he explained: that when the girls say mean things to her, she should be calm (since bullies like a reaction) and simply say “so” and “and” and walk away.
He explained that he has also called the bully girls’ parents and they supposedly talked to their children but that he fears it only makes things worse. Telling school officials, he said, have also not stopped the verbal attacks.
My mom and I both looked at the little girl and told her, “You are so beautiful. You are special. I know it’s hard to de with this, and for you to believe now that you are beautiful but you are! You are different – in a wonderful way! The other girls are jealous.”
I suggested to her, “How about saying to them calmly, ‘It would be better for you to be nice.’ That might show how confident you are and not upset by them.” Maybe it would also teach them a lesson.
She looked at me shyly and agreed she would try that.
I asked Kate Pierson what she would say to that little girl, as she also has beautful blue eyes and even more flaming red hair.
“I would tell her that she should appreciate who she is!” Kate told me.
Great answer! It’s right in the We Are Family spirit!
Another guest that night had a message that appealed to me as a psychologist. Susan Cohn Rockefeller produced the documentary “Striking a Chord: Music can Heal Invisible Wounds” (www.strikingachirdthemovie.com); I certainly know that research proves that music has power to heal. In fact, my own band The Stand Up for Peace Project, writes and performs music to heal, and our first song was specifically for healing after 9/11, just like the birth of WAFF!
Co-host of the night political satirist Mo Rocco said the perfect comment to me (as a psychologist), when I asked him about what he feels is special about him. “I am good to touch,” he said, describing that the skin on his face is so soft and that his velvet jacket feels good to touch. “You’re very right,” I told him, “Touch is very powerful, not just for pleasure but for healing.”
WAFF embodies the message of Noble Peace Prize Laureate Desmond Tutu: “If you want to change, you must be the change.” In the spirit of peace, the WAFF Humanitarian award that night went to Jackson Browne for spreading peaceful messages through music.
When Browne was being interviewed by Lauren Mikler, my friend from HLN’s ShowBiz Tonight now at NY1, she asked him the perfect question, right in my ballpark: how does his more folksy-style music combines with Nile’s more up-tempo disco sound? He described how well they complement each other!
In my lingo, it’s the question: “Do opposites attract?” So many people ask me that, in my role as a psychologist and dating expert. We get along great, Jackson explained. I agree! Opposites can attract balance each other, and learn from each other. And it is also true, by the way, that “birds of a feather flock together.”
Jackson and Nile also epitomized another wonderful psychological principle: friendship and supporting each other’s lives and work glues people together – even if you go separate ways for years. That was proved by a surprise reunion that night for Jackson and my wonderful videographer teammate (who produced and edited the video in this story), Sandi Bachom, who grew up with Jackson in California, and brought along a photo (with a message on the back) of him at 17 years old looking handsome holding his guitar. Seeing Sandi, he gushed! Even she and I have had our own reunion, after meeting years ago at the spa Rancho La Puerta but not reunited until I noticed this energetic redhead filming Kurtis Sliwa’s fundraiser.
The evening turned gold in another way: an impressive $2 million was raised—amazing for this economy, when the NY Times only recently ran an article about benefits suffering. Some of the money goes to support another of WAFF’s laudable projects, Three Dot Dash, which supports teen leaders around the world working for peace. A true child prodigy was at the gala, who spoke like such a mature young man, who told me that his musical preferences range from Chopin to the Beatles. It’s encouraging to see such talent and composure in such a youth – encouraging for our future in music and life!